I remembered it was a Saturday night, our second date ended it with a kiss. parked under the street lamp-post the one near my bedroom window. The moment I realized that I became more conscious I didn’t want the neighbors to see, but there I were leaning in for another kiss..
Doesn’t this sound like something written from a novel? Yes, I’m afraid so, he was too good to be true. Our relationship seem effortless and comforting because we had so much in common, or so I though we did. We even had ideas and plans to do all sort of things, see places.. EVERYTHING. Believe nothing a man tells you and everything he shows you (RandyPausch). This one had a great sales pitch and everything. OK, maybe I’m making him the bad guy here, I too wanted out of the relationship, but I really did liked him.. a lot! Well it happens, unfortunately we loose interests, we loose touch, and people’s situation changes.. like financially-wise in his case. I don’t know when a guy is being genuinely honest; their main talents are manipulating and deceiving. However, from now on I’m trusting and listening to my instincts, no matter how much I wish I was wrong about a guy. I knew it was going to end soon, even before he can think it. The minute men starts to complain that they’re broke, broke, broke.. well let me just translate for you, I’m done spending money on you babe, I’ve moved on. It happened before and it happened again.
When we were dating, a co-worker asked “How do I feel about the guy, am I in love?” after I answered no he then tells me, “That’s because your heart is guarded, you need to let him in and give him a chance”. Maybe so, but I really didn’t want to fall too fast and too hard. The moment I felt his.. distance.. I knew it wasn’t meant to be. No matter how little distance between us, I’m NOT going to chase guys anymore; I’ll let them chase me instead.
You have to guard your life in the same way that you do your heart. Not just “anyone” should be let in.
To end in a more positive note, yes, of course I’d like to find love someday when I’m ready, but for now it just feels good to be single again. I’ve been single for a long time before it’s not a big deal. I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I’m much better off alone, I like being alone, I enjoy my own company best, and I find comfort in solitude to reflect, read, write or do any other productivity. Being single I can focus on myself better, and accelerate my progress toward becoming the highly productive, effective, efficient person that I want to be.
Work on finding you first, love second. A whole, complete person makes a much better catch! 🙂